Hooray!
In the midst of all the political to-do recently, I have seen something that bothers me almost as much as those dreaded nails on a chalkboard. It's not a sound, but rather a distinct image (well, set of images) that just makes me cringe. What I'm talking about is the overhead high-five-grip shake. This one gesture can make the coolest guy look like a total buffoon. It can make the most distinguished gentleman seem like an awkward clown. Despite this, if you watch any political rally or celebration of late, you can catch one of these OHFGS on camera, polluting your normal news broadcast with squirm inducing video.
If you are still not familiar with what I am talking about, let me try to describe this phenomenon to you. It starts off with a simple gesture of raising the hands to go in for what one would assume to be a high-five. This is where the normalcy ends. From there, the palms touch and fingers spread. Instead of just pulling back with satisfaction of a good palm slap, the fingers curl into each other and grip tightly. This joining of the hands is then shaken about, usually in jubilation, but awkward nonetheless. Now, when I say shaken, I mean that the ball of hands is moving about in a jerky fashion, usually controlled by the more dominant hand. I looked for a picture of this to demonstrate this more clearly, but when I typed in to the image searcher 'awkward overhead high five grip shake', I got nothing of relevance.
It gets worse. Normally, you give a high five or a hand shake with the same hand, as in I shake your right hand with my right hand, or high five right on right. High fives actually work right to left or left to right because of the simple instantaneous contact. There is no lingering. With the OHFGS, when it is done with opposite hands, it is the ultimate in embarrassing gestures. Because of the great structure of our anatomy, in order to get the opposite hand grip of this abomination, the hands must be palm to palm. In order for that to work, the two people must be facing each other or close to it. This is a bad sight when you see two people facing each other shaking their fist ball in the air. What's weirder is when after the grip has commenced, the two arc out to the crowd (or whoever cares to actually watch the mess) and shake to the crowd. Just the awkward angle of arms and fingers is enough to question reality. Entwined fingers shouldn't be moved around like that.
I don't really know what bothers me so much about the OHFGS, but it does. I suppose the awkwardness of it shows the humanity of people, able to still make mistakes and be a normal person, but I feel like there are so many better ways to do that, say, with a nice trip or faceplant. I just think the grip can be avoided, just let go of that hand in the air. If you do have to hold hands, do it with closed fingers, like a normal handshake.
So when you are watching coverage of the caucuses or even some sporting events, be prepared to see some of these awkward handshakes. You'll know when you see it. Sorry for ruining the celebration.
In the midst of all the political to-do recently, I have seen something that bothers me almost as much as those dreaded nails on a chalkboard. It's not a sound, but rather a distinct image (well, set of images) that just makes me cringe. What I'm talking about is the overhead high-five-grip shake. This one gesture can make the coolest guy look like a total buffoon. It can make the most distinguished gentleman seem like an awkward clown. Despite this, if you watch any political rally or celebration of late, you can catch one of these OHFGS on camera, polluting your normal news broadcast with squirm inducing video.
If you are still not familiar with what I am talking about, let me try to describe this phenomenon to you. It starts off with a simple gesture of raising the hands to go in for what one would assume to be a high-five. This is where the normalcy ends. From there, the palms touch and fingers spread. Instead of just pulling back with satisfaction of a good palm slap, the fingers curl into each other and grip tightly. This joining of the hands is then shaken about, usually in jubilation, but awkward nonetheless. Now, when I say shaken, I mean that the ball of hands is moving about in a jerky fashion, usually controlled by the more dominant hand. I looked for a picture of this to demonstrate this more clearly, but when I typed in to the image searcher 'awkward overhead high five grip shake', I got nothing of relevance.
It gets worse. Normally, you give a high five or a hand shake with the same hand, as in I shake your right hand with my right hand, or high five right on right. High fives actually work right to left or left to right because of the simple instantaneous contact. There is no lingering. With the OHFGS, when it is done with opposite hands, it is the ultimate in embarrassing gestures. Because of the great structure of our anatomy, in order to get the opposite hand grip of this abomination, the hands must be palm to palm. In order for that to work, the two people must be facing each other or close to it. This is a bad sight when you see two people facing each other shaking their fist ball in the air. What's weirder is when after the grip has commenced, the two arc out to the crowd (or whoever cares to actually watch the mess) and shake to the crowd. Just the awkward angle of arms and fingers is enough to question reality. Entwined fingers shouldn't be moved around like that.
I don't really know what bothers me so much about the OHFGS, but it does. I suppose the awkwardness of it shows the humanity of people, able to still make mistakes and be a normal person, but I feel like there are so many better ways to do that, say, with a nice trip or faceplant. I just think the grip can be avoided, just let go of that hand in the air. If you do have to hold hands, do it with closed fingers, like a normal handshake.
So when you are watching coverage of the caucuses or even some sporting events, be prepared to see some of these awkward handshakes. You'll know when you see it. Sorry for ruining the celebration.
UPDATE!! A good friend of mine has located two decent photos of what I was trying to explain.
Unfortunately, these are both of Mrs. Clinton, but I assure you that Obama, McCain and the rest of the fellow politicians all have had their run-ins with this atrocity.
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