Militant Morons

Recently, our political atmosphere has been swarmed by angered citizens, upset in the current situation and how it effects either their left or right oriented lives. Some organize rallies, stage protests or call incessantly to their elected representatives to voice their opinions. As outrageous as some of their claims may be (government conspiracies, corruption, bias, not listening to real America, etc.), the disenchanted have yet to resort to anything that could be seen as traitorous or even criminal.

Unfortunately, voicing concerns is not enough for some. Instead, these angry people decide to get together with their 2nd amendment right to bear arms and decide they are going to do things their way. They form local 'militias' and make statements and threats that it will be their way or the highway. These clowns do not succeed. This leads me to my point. Morons like these, no matter how many AK-47s or RPGs they have, will not succeed in changing the government or any aspect of America by force. Ever. How this logical fallacy befalls these people is what concerns me. Sure, they may have their few acres of land secured and locked down, but they will not be successful in implementing any type of new government or sovereignty. How could they? Perhaps they get a decent standoff or create and incident that exposes them to a national audience, but how in the hell can these people actually execute the plan they propose? I am pretty damn sure a national army over a million strong will always win over a rag-tag group of angry militants. A militant stronghold will always fall to a national army if the nation so chooses.

My biggest problem with these fools is the ridiculous claims they make. Ideas such as secession or coups or 'shows of force' are just ridiculous. I understand having differing views of life and wanting to be able to live how you live, but threatening an entire nation of 300 million people to serve the cause of you and 100 or even 1000 of your buddies is not a wise move. These guys will always lose. What gets me more is the fact that one of the main reasons these fools can get away with assembling like this is because they are doing it in a country that allows for that right to protest. Essentially, they are fighting the entity that lets them fight in the first place. America is built on that respect and freedoms of the individual. Militias are concerned with the idea of these freedoms being impeded or taken away. Yet, the fact that these militias exist show that those freedoms are still there and have been there all along.

I don't know it is mere delusions or a need for conflict and purpose that drives these buffoons, but there are much more efficient and civil ways of getting your opinion heard. Countering that thought, it seems to me that if you just keep your head low and not bother others, you will be able to do whatever you had in mind anyway. Not bothering others? Keep as many guns in your house as you want. Don't like government administrations? Don't pay attention to them. Don't like being taxed on your things? Well, that is just too bad. This is the price for living in a country that lets you live this free. If you don't like it, you can always try a different place. Unfortunately, we no longer live in a time where land is still available to pioneers and explorers. The age of colonization and new land is no more. Livable land has all been claimed and all we can do is find the best nation to be affiliated with. This could sound like an inescapable burden, but really, how bad can it be living in the great country of the USA?

Sure, there are a few good answers to that question that show the horrors and tragedies of life, but you can find those all across the globe, and most of the other ones will be far worse than anything you will find here in the US. I just don't get the reasoning behind trying to rise against the country that is letting you do as you wish.

You know what 2:30 feels like...

Yeah, I do, thanks for reminding me. The title of this entry is taken from a recent commercial pitching "5 hour energy". For those unfamiliar with the product, it is a small vial of liquid that is mostly caffeine, dosed in an amount that is supposed to give you that jolt of energy to get you through the next 5 hours. Since it doesn't require sugary water to make it drinkable like the other energy drinks, it claims to not have that 'sugar crash' that is common with the alternatives. This is the main selling point.

I am not questioning the validity of their claim. Caffeine seems to help millions of people everyday, and despite the fact that I do not drink coffee or tea in the morning, I know I could call upon a cup if I really need the help. So, great, the product does what it claims. My beef is with whoever directed the 'star' of their commercial to come off as a complete dickface that I would rather punch than buy vials of drugs from. The guy himself looks like a regular young office worker, completely nonthreatening. However, as soon as he starts talking, you can taste the smug, impish arrogance through the TV screen. Every line he delivers is accompanied by a slight smirk and a slight tilt of the head. Not major, but enough to notice and enough to rile up my violent tendencies. The way the ad is written doesn't help, either. Yes, we know what 2:30 feels like (smirktilt), and 3:30 (smirktilt) AND 4:30 (GODDAMN SMIRKTILT). Don't talk to me like I am a child you smirky fartsniffer, just sling me some uppers and get off my TV!

OK, I will calm down. But seriously, it is sad when the advertisement for a company's product does more damage than the product itself. But maybe we've all been swindled and aggravating through advertisement is actually an ingenious way of keeping the product in our thoughts. No, there is a line. Thought-provoking or near-obnoxious ads keep products in our heads, but ads that push the limits of my patience will immediately deter me from said new product. For products I already know and love, zany ads don't matter much. But if you're trying to sell me something new, don't make me hate it before I even get it in my hands.

In closing, thank you 5-hour energy for making me clench my fists every time I see 2:30 appear on the clock in my office. The same goes for 3:30 and 4:30. It's not enough that the day can certainly drag at those points, but now I have the mental image of some twerp smirking and tilting his head at me in that knowing, condescending manner whose only natural response is a knuckle sandwich to be served on a tray that is his face. Way to sell.