May Contain Peanuts

Human Litter

So I assume everyone is now familiar with the story of the lady in Calitardia who gave birth to an octet of offspring, setting records and blah blah blah. The kicker was that this brainlord already had 6 kids and was keeping them all in a shack owned and occupied by the birther's parents. This has been a national story, sparking outrage and debate over rights to life, decision making processes, government involvement and communal ethics. Some say she had no right to bring these children into the world when living in such a desperate situation, while others say she has all the right to do what she pleases with her uterus. She may be irresponsible or she may be an icon for the love of life. You know what I say? WHO GIVES A SHIT.

This is a typical response from me. This situation boggles the realm of common logic. It makes no sense why an unemployed, living-with-her-parents, previously disabled mother of six would implant 6 more embryos in her yooch and try to bring more strain upon her living condition. It makes no sense other than greed and stupidity for a doctor to agree to the process. The whole situation just reeks of selfishness and stupidity. So what is the common man or 'concerned' housefrau to do about it? Nothing. Stupid people are all around us and usually the dumb choices they make pique the interest of the normal people everywhere else. Thank the media for bringing attention to the sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing and allowing us to gawk and gossip our opinions and beliefs. But should this incident start a process of legislation or rule making for such a sensitive topic as the right to life? Hell no. This was an extreme outlier in the world of baby-making. Sure you may get a copycat or a similar situation again, but this is minor compared to the fact that hundreds of children are born each day in a normal situation. The whole damn story is a media fueled aggrandizement of a ridiculous outcome with some people who care more about what they want what is best for others. (I mean look at these doctors here. They are just happy about the medical accomplishment and the publicity, not the fact that these kids are going to have a tough life). These type of people do not appreciate what society is or how society works and live in their own small world. And for all I care, they can stay in that world.

And in reality, that's exactly what will happen. Sure, people in Whittier, CA will have brush-ins we these people and the poor city government will have to deal with giving some needed care to these poor souls, but the rest of us will go about our lives with the memory of a talking point and nothing more. This is the same crap we deal with all the time. The polygamists in wherever they were, the kidnapping in Utah, shit, even Elian Gonzalez; they all involve the lives of children and therefore all touch the hearts and minds of concerned parents are people around the world, inspiring debates and movements to make sure things like that won't happen to them. But come on, does this stuff really happen often enough to warrant action? Wack stuff happens to wack people. If you're aware of these situations, knowing you wouldn't ever want that to happen you, chances are that they won't. The visibility and coverage of these crazy situations implant the idea that these things happen right around us and could actually happen to us. This is a joke, almost as bad as actually calling within 15 minutes of seeing an infomercial.

Just realize that these crazy stories of unbelievable situations are bound to happen when you have 300+ MILLION people living in a country where the most preposterous sells and coverage of it is instantaneous. You're bound to get a zany happenstance now and again, but remember that our society functions adequately enough day to day that people such as this baby turnstyle are good for a talk or two but mean nothing in the large scheme of things.

On a side note, for those of you who watch the tv show "Fringe" like I do, I want to bring up John Bishop's 'half-nipple theory'. He proclaims that animals should give normally give birth to a number of offspring equal to 1/2 the number of nipples the mother has. I only bring this up because I had the horrible (?) mental image of this woman above covered in 16 boobs. Now that would be something to talk about.