Look at me, Judge me!

Readers, before you continue onto today's point of nitpicking, you'll notice I have finally decided to utilize this thing called a "title bar". Now you'll get a line of summarizing words that will help you to decide whether you actually want to spend the next 2.7 minutes reading whatever sentences I decide to digitally bring to you every few weeks. Now, on to the meat...

For someone who considers his television a family member, such as myself, the summer season is a harsh, empty period of time. Fresh programming is at a minimum, leaving me to either rehash old broadcasts, scan the wasteland of hundreds of other channels offered by my cable company, or; god help me, just turn the ol' TV off. Lately, with the current trend of programming choices, I have been opting for the latter of the three, finding my entertainment in print form (crazy, I know). The primary factor contributing to this oustanding decision has been the broadcasters (and I suppose in turn, America's) infatuation with the 'reality' genre's subset of contest shows.

I cannot stand any of these shows. These are the ones where there is a panel of 'judges', be they celebrities, near-celebrities, ex-celebrities, 'experts' of their respective field, or just eye candy; observing some act or object, giving their two cents, and then turning it over to America and all their wisdom to choose a winner. I'm sure you are familiar with at least one of these shows: American Idol, Big Brother, So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars, The Biggest Loser, America's Got Talent, Last Comic Standing, America's Best Dance Crew, Celebrity Circus ...etc. These shows are wildly popular, and for me, completely unbearable.

What makes me cringe at the thought of watching these televised messes are the fact that for every success or great performance seen, there are many more failures and catastrophes that go along side with it. I don't know if it is just something about my character, but I do not get any pleasure about seeing someone genuinely try and fail miserably, only to have it then critiqued, deconstructed and replayed again and again. My television is a medium of entertainment for me. It should make me happy, which usually, it succeeds easily in. Watching someone display his 'talent' and then get torn apart by 'judges' who seemingly know what the rest of us don't is not entertainment. It is watching someone else be miserable.

For most people, it is easy to see beyond this point. The show progresses and the losers are never heard from or seen again. Ultimately, a winner arises, and the show ends on a happy note. Everyone likes a happy ending. In the mean time, however, is a string of harsh disappoinments; disappointments where most of the cast of characters do not get their happy ending. Don't get me wrong, in no way am I an advocate of the 'everybody is a winner' philosophy. Games and contests should have clear winners and losers, and not everybody can win. The difference though, is that in these contests of winners and losers, say, like a little league game or a spelling bee, the only people the outcome matters to are the direct participants. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat are instilled only in those participating (and close family members, I suppose). These contest-shows, however take these events and put them on a nationally-viewed stage, where the victory is that much sweeter, but the defeat is that much more destructive, being shared with millions of people worldwide.

Perhaps the allure of these shows is to remind us out in the viewer's world that there are people whose lives suck at lot more than ours, and we can relish in the fact that we have it ok, comparitively. Watching people fail on national tv makes us happy that we are not there having to go through that ourselves. We can laugh at these fools anonymously and then move on to the next contestant. There is no attachment (mostly) to the failing. Contrast this with any scripted show. On any drama or comedy, we are attached to the characters and when they fail at whatever is written for them that week, we are concerned with how they will bounce back and make things right. If they do fail, it is for a reason and has meaning, not just laughable fodder. This is how entertainment has been done for as long as a story has been told. Character to plot to problem to solution. There is no solution for the losers of the contest show. There is only a long drive home and the 'fifteen minutes of fame' that would assuredly be happily traded back for perhaps some nice parting gifts.

So, until the fall rolls around with the new wave of happy scripted shows, I will be searching for other stories where the characters are appreciated and not discarded after their failures are pontificated. Humanistic? Sure. But more so, I think it comes back to the Golden Rule that should be instilled in us all. How would you feel if that happened to you? I wouldn't want anyone watching that.

Bonjour,

This is a little out of nowhere, but it is something that has been bothering me. The remake of "Get Smart" is out, so we get to see it's starts out promoting it. This means we get to see Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway on everything from late night shows to internet homepages. What's bugging me is that after seeing Miss Hathaway's mug a few times, I keep wanting to sing "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden. Sure, she's an attractive actress, (maybe she can act? I don't know, I missed "Devil Wears Prada", those Disney movies, and basically anything else she was in), but I feel like her face is a bit disproportionate. It's almost freakish. Tell me if I'm wrong.













One is the actress, and the other is from the Soundgarden music video. I really don't have a problem with her face, it's just that the music video with all it's digitally altered faces really made me uncomfortable. So when I see ol' Annie there, I get this weird feeling like I should be running for my life lest my face will melt and I will be sucked up into a spinning fiery vortex where the sun used to be. Let's just say I won't be seeing "Get Smart".