Oh S...
Take a second and read this.
http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/18/1818.asp
Sucks to be a Virginian right now. This law is ri-goddamn-diculous. Thiry-five hundred bucks for speeding? WTF? Has anyone in Congress driven on I-95 in the past 10 years? NO ONE GOES 55 MPH; except for Grandmas and Asian women. Ooh, that's so stereotypical. Yeah, it probably is, but I have seen them with my own eyes. Stereotypes don't invent themselves.
Anypoo, this fine system is out of control. I know the government can always use more money, but this is ludicrous. I can understand making fines steep for really bad speeding, like 20 or 30 over, but three thousand dollars plus jail time plus all those points on the license? Forget about having cheap insurance after that, just more money down the hole. Remind me to get back to the whole 'insurance' thing in another post.
Granted, speeding and aggressive driving cause accidents, hurt people, even kill some of them and overall cost the state a lot of money. This is still quite the step up in penalties though. Perhaps this is a new test to see if a drastic change in penalties will actually slow people down. I know it sounded like a good idea to all gov't people involved. More money for them and less speeders on the highway. It just sucks for the people who get caught speeding.
What is going to be really bad is if this translates to those 35 MPH roads that are wide open and are easy to do 50 MPH on. You know what I'm talking about, there's always some road in a suburban area that is 4 laned and you can easily catch yourself going a little too fast.
Besides the fact that this is a huge cost for a penalty, my main beef with this is that speeding is so commonplace that it makes the times you do get caught seem random and unfair. Everyone goes faster than they should, often people are speeding just to keep up with everyone else. I would hope that those that actually do get pulled over and fined thanks to this new great law are actually deserving of it. You know, the swerving, slamming on brakes and speeding back up type that make you hate other drivers. This kind of thing should not apply to a 'picked-out-of-the-pack' incident or even an open road incident where there is no one else on the road and the cop is just waiting for you to zoom by. Shit like that would really push this too far. I can understand if you are putting people immediately in danger, with the swerving and the tailgating, but when there's an open road in front of you, come on.
It will be interesting to see how this goes over in the next few months and see the citizen's response. I'll be searching for testimonials and results just to see if my thoughts were right on. Looks like I'll be riding with out-of-staters until then. Virginia is for lovers, and out of state drivers.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
NNNNNNNnnnnnnn.....
WARNING! Discussions of fecality ahead.
You know what one of the great underappreciated pleasures in life is? No, not heroin. Rather, a nice, satisfying shit. The kind where you feel all emptied out, toxins gone, weight a bit lighter and somehow restored in energy. There's even the double bonus "flawless victory" that requires zero cleanup. Amazing deuce dropping experiences like these are few and far between, but when they happen, it's like finding a twenty in your pocket unexpectedly, a nice suprise.
What brought this thought upon me was the antithesis of this event happening to me just recently. I was mid-session the other day and I could feel that things weren't going well. Stuff was not flowing as it should, I was resisting the urge to push, and the whole atmosphere smelled and felt like the underside of a stone paver (stinky, hard yet smushy, rough, etc.). I somehow managed to pull through and finish, but if you've had an unsatisfying session, you know that it doesn't feel 'finished'. Anyway, this tragic moment got me to thinking about how great it is to have real, good satisfying log droppings and I wondered why science or anyone has tried to harness this goodness for the people.
Wouldn't it be great it we could take some sort of supplement or do something that would result in consistent satisfying colon emptying? I know there's plenty of bran and fiber products out there, but that's more for irregularity. I'm talking just feel-good shitting. I remember some lame Matthew Broderick/Anthony Hopkins movie where they analyzed people stool and had them on a strict diet where they were deemed 'completed' or some mess only when the stool was of firm even texture and smelled of hay. I don't think this is where I'm going with this post, but it's fun to remember Anthony Hopkins looking at terds. My point is not to have healthy terds, but feel healthier after a successful number 2. Of course, a good reason why this genius idea has yet to come to fruition is that there may not be a way to do it. I know most of Americans eat shit and are overweight, blah, blah, blah. But maybe science needs to delve more into the world of digestion and things of that nature to get a better idea as to how all that works. They could isolate certain ingredients or minerals that help make the good so good and the bad so stinkin bad. Granted, this would be a 'shitty' job for biologists to undertake, but it could lead to a breakthrough that would make the world a happier place, one flush (or sometimes two or three) at a time.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Click.
Like pretty much everyone browsing the interwebs, I like scouring through YouTube or Yahoo Video for random bits of entertainment. It's brainless fun that helps the day go by. I noticed this next point early on and it continues to bother me.
Why must every joe shmo who makes "my first video" or "my blah blah blah" use the SAME FREAKING FONT AND EFFECTS from IMovie?? You realize you can change the font, right? Not every piece of text on your homemade masterpiece has to be in Helvetica, and scroll from right to left with a bigger more translucent version of your text scrolling slower in the background. It's been done, this is no longer hip, it is no longer an option to use.
For God's sake, if you take any value in your 'art' or whatever you want to call what you're uploading for the world to see, take some time and make it unique. I can't count how many videos I've seen have the same generic title opening and the same lame ass 'credits' at the end. Ooh, he put his words on a blue background! How creative!
I think what bothers me the most about this is that when you see it, it is a dead giveaway that the author has spent less than 2 minutes putting this S together and for me is the equivalent of reading a children's book. Thanks for wasting me time with your amateur home movie garbage.
I'm not even expecting anything astounding, just not the same damn white on black or whatever color background, gently floating in and fading out. I know it's the default or whatever on IMovie, and when you first saw it you probably thought it was pretty nice, an easy effect that didn't look too bad. Well that time has come and passed, much like Tamagachis and Uggs, every one has seen them, is familiar with them and now wouldn't be caught dead with them unless they're trying to make a statement about how retro cool they are (which is in itself a fallacy since none of these things were ever cool or will ever be no matter how far into the past they recall).
Point: Change your damn font. Change your damn effects. Take 5 extra minutes and make it look like you care about what you are uploading for the world to see.
Bonus idea of the day: As a thought, it would be nice to be able to flag these videos as "lame" or "amateur" to go along with the 'inappropriate' flags that these video sites offer.
Monday, June 11, 2007
ZZZZZZzzzzz......
Today I would like to rant a bit on one my favorite activities. This activity is common throughout the animal world, a favorite past time of household pets, college students, and the elderly. No, it's not dry humping or drinking milk, but rather that oh so essential act of sleeping. Yes, sleeping. I must confess, I am an addict.
Nothing starts off a good day like sleeping in. Just like the other millions of Americans who work for the weekend, I look forward to my weekend with joy simply because it is the two days of the week I can wake up whenever I so please. I can open my eyes, welcome the sunlight in and then shut them right back up and wander back off into dreamworld. So delightful.
Now, for all the well-to-doers and busybodies out there, the obvious argument is, "Isn't sleeping too much a waste of time and life?" or "You can sleep when you're dead". To that I rebutt: no, it's not a waste if it is something I love to do, and no, you don't sleep when you're dead, you're dead when you're dead. If I have something important to do or an event to attend, then of course I shall rise to the occasion and get my lazy ass out of bed. But if I have nothing really better to do, and a 6 foot horizontal slab of some sort is in immediate reach, you can believe that I will be sprawled out on it. Whether it be inside on the couch or outside on the hammock, I can be found with my feet up and head back.
What is it that draws me to this essential, yet basic 'activity'? Is it my raw laziness or lack of motivation and ambition? It very well could be. I would rather like to think of it as my type of meditation. It is an undervalued opportunity to be able to lie in silence/darkness and just think to yourself and reflect on the day's happenings are your own thoughts. Granted, this often leads to sleeping and dreaming, but I also find that I can remember my dreams far more lucidly in the afternoon than upon waking up in the morning. I am also a fan of the analyzation of my dreams, but that will be another post. A little self-reflection is good for anyone.
What brought this notion upon me was an incident in the lazy afternoon of yesterday. I was laying in bed after an early soccer game when my cat came in the room and laid down next to me. He immediately fell asleep as if it was exactly what he was supposed to do. I'm sure I have noticed it before, but that cat sleeps a lot. That is what cats do, I suppose. It got me to thinking, shouldn't we humans be indulging that urge to sleep a bit more? I know logistically this can't happen. Schedules are too full as is and everyone has someplace they have to be. I find it gravely unfortunate that we can, for the most part, no longer truly enjoy this simple pleasure. Alarm clocks, meetings, due-dates, deadlines; all these conventions pull us from our normal system of sleep.
It saddens me to think that as I get older and my responsibilities increase, to my family, my career, as well as to myself, my opportunties to loll in relaxation will continually decrease. My need to be awake and attentive will overwhelm my ability to rest and reflect. Sleeping is such a simple pleasure, healer of wounds and pain, soothing agent, time for peace, re-energizer, and something no one can live without. In a world that is always on the go, it seems the pr0-sleeper such as myself is looked at in a negative sense. My guess to this view is that it's hard to make money while you're sleeping. An unfortunate result of capitalism, to say the least.
Look, I'm not bashing capitalism or ambition or active people, as people do what they must and that's their choice. My recommendation, however would be to live like my cat for a day; do what you got to do, but take a nap when you feel like it, embrace sleep like it is eating, when you feel like it, do it. See if you feel better, take some time for yourself, enjoy your pillow. Actually, that sound like a good idea...
Today I would like to rant a bit on one my favorite activities. This activity is common throughout the animal world, a favorite past time of household pets, college students, and the elderly. No, it's not dry humping or drinking milk, but rather that oh so essential act of sleeping. Yes, sleeping. I must confess, I am an addict.
Nothing starts off a good day like sleeping in. Just like the other millions of Americans who work for the weekend, I look forward to my weekend with joy simply because it is the two days of the week I can wake up whenever I so please. I can open my eyes, welcome the sunlight in and then shut them right back up and wander back off into dreamworld. So delightful.
Now, for all the well-to-doers and busybodies out there, the obvious argument is, "Isn't sleeping too much a waste of time and life?" or "You can sleep when you're dead". To that I rebutt: no, it's not a waste if it is something I love to do, and no, you don't sleep when you're dead, you're dead when you're dead. If I have something important to do or an event to attend, then of course I shall rise to the occasion and get my lazy ass out of bed. But if I have nothing really better to do, and a 6 foot horizontal slab of some sort is in immediate reach, you can believe that I will be sprawled out on it. Whether it be inside on the couch or outside on the hammock, I can be found with my feet up and head back.
What is it that draws me to this essential, yet basic 'activity'? Is it my raw laziness or lack of motivation and ambition? It very well could be. I would rather like to think of it as my type of meditation. It is an undervalued opportunity to be able to lie in silence/darkness and just think to yourself and reflect on the day's happenings are your own thoughts. Granted, this often leads to sleeping and dreaming, but I also find that I can remember my dreams far more lucidly in the afternoon than upon waking up in the morning. I am also a fan of the analyzation of my dreams, but that will be another post. A little self-reflection is good for anyone.
What brought this notion upon me was an incident in the lazy afternoon of yesterday. I was laying in bed after an early soccer game when my cat came in the room and laid down next to me. He immediately fell asleep as if it was exactly what he was supposed to do. I'm sure I have noticed it before, but that cat sleeps a lot. That is what cats do, I suppose. It got me to thinking, shouldn't we humans be indulging that urge to sleep a bit more? I know logistically this can't happen. Schedules are too full as is and everyone has someplace they have to be. I find it gravely unfortunate that we can, for the most part, no longer truly enjoy this simple pleasure. Alarm clocks, meetings, due-dates, deadlines; all these conventions pull us from our normal system of sleep.
It saddens me to think that as I get older and my responsibilities increase, to my family, my career, as well as to myself, my opportunties to loll in relaxation will continually decrease. My need to be awake and attentive will overwhelm my ability to rest and reflect. Sleeping is such a simple pleasure, healer of wounds and pain, soothing agent, time for peace, re-energizer, and something no one can live without. In a world that is always on the go, it seems the pr0-sleeper such as myself is looked at in a negative sense. My guess to this view is that it's hard to make money while you're sleeping. An unfortunate result of capitalism, to say the least.
Look, I'm not bashing capitalism or ambition or active people, as people do what they must and that's their choice. My recommendation, however would be to live like my cat for a day; do what you got to do, but take a nap when you feel like it, embrace sleep like it is eating, when you feel like it, do it. See if you feel better, take some time for yourself, enjoy your pillow. Actually, that sound like a good idea...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Warning!
Political writing ahead. Turn away now unless you want to read some political opinion.
I am not sure if I would call this politcal opinion or observation. Anyways, today's musings are concerning the state of our politicians. Not so much their views, be that right, left or in the middle somewhere, but rather their interactions with each other and the nation as a whole.
What brought this up was an interview with Bob Schieffer this morning on my local news station. He commented that the latest immigration bill had once again failed and Congress was back to square one on the issue. He then continued on about Congress as a whole and the fact that since basically every one of these elected politicians are catering to some special interest or have financial ties to a certain stance, that there is no longer the room for compromise or deal making in order to get things done.
Normally, I could give two left nuts about our politics and the government, preferring the 'laissez-faire' attitude of citizenship toward my ruling body. They do what they gotta do and I continue to live my life. Up to this point, I haven't had any problems. I most likely will continue to not have any problems. I realized the reason for this is that there will not be any drastic change in our system anytime soon that will affect how I live my life.
Nowadays, (and I'm sure it's been this way for a while) politcal correctness and inoffensiveness are far too present in our culture. "Special interests" dominate our society. People who are offended by something spread their views into the mainstream and in turn, our politicians are catering to them. What really bothers me is that is all because of money. Getting elected nowadays cost so much money that politicians must search out for people to fund them and generally promise some sort of return to them. Soooo, when they eventually make it to that big white building in the center of DC, they already have their agendas set up, their minds made up on issues and must conform to them, lest they lose money, and don't get re-elected. They can't negotiate because it would mean they would lose their jobs.
Schieffer's comment of this inability to negotiate really bothers me, while at the same time relaxes me. It bothers me because nothing is getting done, but it also puts me at ease because nothing is going to change. The art of compromise and working together no longer seems to be the goal. Rather, it is a my-way-or-the-highway attitude that dominates, meaning that if one group doesn't like it, the entire thing is scrapped. This may be an exaggeration on my part, but I feel like it sums up the point to be made.
It seems like even on easier decisions such as the post 9/11 movement, there arose debates as to what was the correct move. It would be nice to hear on the 'news' for once something like, "Congress agrees to new bill, compromise deemed a success". Anything in that range of headline would do instead of "Bill defeated" or "Debate rages on" again.
For me, as someone who is content in his day to day dealings with the government and the law, this issue is reassuring that my life will not be impacted very much, if at all. However, it is eerie to know that if I did have an issue that I would like some action taken upon, there is very little hope that it will take place. I will just compromise by not taking issue...
Political writing ahead. Turn away now unless you want to read some political opinion.
I am not sure if I would call this politcal opinion or observation. Anyways, today's musings are concerning the state of our politicians. Not so much their views, be that right, left or in the middle somewhere, but rather their interactions with each other and the nation as a whole.
What brought this up was an interview with Bob Schieffer this morning on my local news station. He commented that the latest immigration bill had once again failed and Congress was back to square one on the issue. He then continued on about Congress as a whole and the fact that since basically every one of these elected politicians are catering to some special interest or have financial ties to a certain stance, that there is no longer the room for compromise or deal making in order to get things done.
Normally, I could give two left nuts about our politics and the government, preferring the 'laissez-faire' attitude of citizenship toward my ruling body. They do what they gotta do and I continue to live my life. Up to this point, I haven't had any problems. I most likely will continue to not have any problems. I realized the reason for this is that there will not be any drastic change in our system anytime soon that will affect how I live my life.
Nowadays, (and I'm sure it's been this way for a while) politcal correctness and inoffensiveness are far too present in our culture. "Special interests" dominate our society. People who are offended by something spread their views into the mainstream and in turn, our politicians are catering to them. What really bothers me is that is all because of money. Getting elected nowadays cost so much money that politicians must search out for people to fund them and generally promise some sort of return to them. Soooo, when they eventually make it to that big white building in the center of DC, they already have their agendas set up, their minds made up on issues and must conform to them, lest they lose money, and don't get re-elected. They can't negotiate because it would mean they would lose their jobs.
Schieffer's comment of this inability to negotiate really bothers me, while at the same time relaxes me. It bothers me because nothing is getting done, but it also puts me at ease because nothing is going to change. The art of compromise and working together no longer seems to be the goal. Rather, it is a my-way-or-the-highway attitude that dominates, meaning that if one group doesn't like it, the entire thing is scrapped. This may be an exaggeration on my part, but I feel like it sums up the point to be made.
It seems like even on easier decisions such as the post 9/11 movement, there arose debates as to what was the correct move. It would be nice to hear on the 'news' for once something like, "Congress agrees to new bill, compromise deemed a success". Anything in that range of headline would do instead of "Bill defeated" or "Debate rages on" again.
For me, as someone who is content in his day to day dealings with the government and the law, this issue is reassuring that my life will not be impacted very much, if at all. However, it is eerie to know that if I did have an issue that I would like some action taken upon, there is very little hope that it will take place. I will just compromise by not taking issue...
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Eh...
Due to the immense popularity of my previous post, I have decided to take more of my old posts from the other 'space' and post it here.
This is from February 17, 2007.
There was an opportunity just the other day to use the old phrase "fool me once, shame on you..." blah blah, etc. The problem was that I knew that it was the correct context to use said phrase in, but I could not for the life of me remember exactly how the phrase went. You know why? All I could think of was the infamous quote given by our fine president George Dub. I'm sure you've heard of it, during some speech he said, and I quote,
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
Well, this utterance of genius was so rediculously memorable that I forgot the actual proverb and could only remember this version. This got me to thinking about what else in our venacular the beloved Shrub has negatively influenced. I know people don't agree with his policy or war 'stategery', but this is far more basic, something that affects everyone. It is no big shock that the Shrub is not the most eloquent speaker, but his mishaps are causing permanent damage. It is now just fine to pronounce 'nuclear' as 'nukular'. I find myself no longer even using the word 'strategy', opting for the far more inwardly hilarious 'strategery'.
Don't get me wrong, I love a funny quote as much as the next person, in fact I catch myself saying Borat's 'niiiice' or asking for a 'liter cola' all the time, but these are quotable because they are meant to be quotable, coming from writing that is meant to be catch-phrasable.. (New word). I don't quote John Kerry, I don't quote Barack O whatever, and I am glad I don't. I want to respect (as much as possible) my politicians, not mock and quote them because of their misuse of the english language and familiar quips.
Anyfart, the point of this is just to continue the rant on the effect that an unqualified leader can unknowingly have on his people.
Due to the immense popularity of my previous post, I have decided to take more of my old posts from the other 'space' and post it here.
This is from February 17, 2007.
There was an opportunity just the other day to use the old phrase "fool me once, shame on you..." blah blah, etc. The problem was that I knew that it was the correct context to use said phrase in, but I could not for the life of me remember exactly how the phrase went. You know why? All I could think of was the infamous quote given by our fine president George Dub. I'm sure you've heard of it, during some speech he said, and I quote,
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
Well, this utterance of genius was so rediculously memorable that I forgot the actual proverb and could only remember this version. This got me to thinking about what else in our venacular the beloved Shrub has negatively influenced. I know people don't agree with his policy or war 'stategery', but this is far more basic, something that affects everyone. It is no big shock that the Shrub is not the most eloquent speaker, but his mishaps are causing permanent damage. It is now just fine to pronounce 'nuclear' as 'nukular'. I find myself no longer even using the word 'strategy', opting for the far more inwardly hilarious 'strategery'.
Don't get me wrong, I love a funny quote as much as the next person, in fact I catch myself saying Borat's 'niiiice' or asking for a 'liter cola' all the time, but these are quotable because they are meant to be quotable, coming from writing that is meant to be catch-phrasable.. (New word). I don't quote John Kerry, I don't quote Barack O whatever, and I am glad I don't. I want to respect (as much as possible) my politicians, not mock and quote them because of their misuse of the english language and familiar quips.
Anyfart, the point of this is just to continue the rant on the effect that an unqualified leader can unknowingly have on his people.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Oh laziness...
It is easy to grab ahold of you and take you down to the depth of do-nothing-ness. In honor of one my greatest vices, here is a an old blog posted from that other 'space' that is mine. I am no longer posting on that blog as that site is way two months ago. It's all porn and pervs anyway (not that there's anything wrong with that...wait, actually there kind of is). Anyfart, here's the post from August 16, 2006. I thought of this when I came across "Pirate Master" on TV the other day. Just sad.
Everyone gets a show!
You know what is spectacular? No matter what you are in to these days, there's either a 'reality' show currently airing about it, has aired, or is in production, itching to air to your eyes. Fake superheroes? Preachers? Shit cleaners? Pornographers? Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and I will find a way to make it into a series of half hour TV shows. I can't wait for "so you think you can farm" or "America's got Gynecologists". If you haven't heard, there is a stictly reality tv CHANNEL, brought to us by the ad wizards at Fox. What's sad is that no matter what felch pies they air on tv, half of america will watch it. Is it boredom? Apathy? Genuine interest? Doubtful. I feel like our media outlets have sensationalized every topic to point where given the right editing or presentation, even paint drying can be turned into entertainment, given that two of the painters are fighting for the love of a third painter, or one of the paints is a color of a confederate flag or a star of david; just for the controversy. I seriously doubt this trend of 'reality' television will end anytime soon, as the method has been perfected and there are plenty of oddball genres/contestant types/activities still waiting to be exploited/feature/itching to have that 15 seconds burned on DVD to add that ever growing home library.
I'll pass.
It is easy to grab ahold of you and take you down to the depth of do-nothing-ness. In honor of one my greatest vices, here is a an old blog posted from that other 'space' that is mine. I am no longer posting on that blog as that site is way two months ago. It's all porn and pervs anyway (not that there's anything wrong with that...wait, actually there kind of is). Anyfart, here's the post from August 16, 2006. I thought of this when I came across "Pirate Master" on TV the other day. Just sad.
Everyone gets a show!
You know what is spectacular? No matter what you are in to these days, there's either a 'reality' show currently airing about it, has aired, or is in production, itching to air to your eyes. Fake superheroes? Preachers? Shit cleaners? Pornographers? Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and I will find a way to make it into a series of half hour TV shows. I can't wait for "so you think you can farm" or "America's got Gynecologists". If you haven't heard, there is a stictly reality tv CHANNEL, brought to us by the ad wizards at Fox. What's sad is that no matter what felch pies they air on tv, half of america will watch it. Is it boredom? Apathy? Genuine interest? Doubtful. I feel like our media outlets have sensationalized every topic to point where given the right editing or presentation, even paint drying can be turned into entertainment, given that two of the painters are fighting for the love of a third painter, or one of the paints is a color of a confederate flag or a star of david; just for the controversy. I seriously doubt this trend of 'reality' television will end anytime soon, as the method has been perfected and there are plenty of oddball genres/contestant types/activities still waiting to be exploited/feature/itching to have that 15 seconds burned on DVD to add that ever growing home library.
I'll pass.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)